Photoshop the Police
    Budget Cuts
    100% Fact!
    Suicide Week
    Movie of the Game
    DVD Extras
    Corporate Rebranding
    Broken Physics
    Misc Stuff

Photoshop Phoolishness

B3ta run an image contest each week, inviting folks to mess with their minds. Here's my often pathetic efforts, categorised so they make marginally more sense. Click 'em all, you can't really tell what you're going to get from the titles. Most of the links here take you off to b3ta.com in a popup. You get to see what other b3teans said about my posts, lucky you.

Compo: Photoshop the Police

"Photoshop the Police. Get out your funny handshakes and a copy of photoshop and make us pictures of the boys and girls in blue to make us laugh."

Corrupt Coppers

Compo: Budget Cuts

"Budget Cuts. All projects start out wonderful until the accounts weenies step in and point out you've only got 3 Estonian pingus to spend. Show us how things might look if they had had to be made on the cheap"

Budget cuts at Valve dissapoint fans

Development budget cuts at Adobe attract attention from MS lawyers

Ford's engine research cutbacks haven't harmed McRae's stage times

Ferrari slashed Pininfarina's styling budget literally half way through the Enzo, preferring to finish it in house

30 years ago, prisms where expensive. A cheaper plate of glass was used instead

Budget Bandwagon

Compo: 100% Fact!

"100% FACT. It's gotta be true - a man down the pub told me last night. Photoshop us the sort of pub trivia that passes as fact these days"

Adding a few blended bunnies to your fuel tank gives 73% more torque!

Fact: Ultralase only employ white cat owners

Fact: Home-made match head rockets kill thousands every year

If you do L-L-R-R-U-U-D-DR-R-UR-U and press all three kicks on the start screen, you can play as the Death Star. True!

Compo: Reductionism

"Make us more pictures of people in the smallest number of shapes possible"

Just one shape used...

For my few shapes I choose...

Ninjas, everybody needs good ninjas!

The Fear

Compo: Victorian Web

"What would the Victorians have made of the interweb? We need to know, for our own private, ahem, 'research'"

What The Victorians Did For Us

Compo: National Suicide Week

"It's National Suicide Week! Create material to push people over the edge"

Pass me those razor blades please

Compo: The Movie of the Game

"The rubbish films made of computer games oozing out of Hollywood set us thinking..."

Marble Madness

Compo: Pointless DVD Extras

"DVD is an amazing medium, mostly due to the sheer amount of guff you can get..."

Fellowship of the Ring: 48 Disk Superduper Ultra Mega Global Hyper Special Edition

Groundhog Day Uncut Collectors Edition

Compo: Corporate Rebranding

"Corporations spend stupid amounts of money to have designers tell them their logo should be a different shade of green..."

It's the real thing

Compo: Broken Physics

"Physics is great - it stops our cornflakes from floating into space, but what happens when physics breaks?"

Magnifying glasses are tricky to make when the refractive index of glass isn't constant

Misc: Stuff

Stuff created just because. Not related to anything in particular, just a funny idea. Or an unfunny one.

Lemming Wars

A level maths for today's culturally driven kids

So that's where they get that odour

All good doomed IT projects...

Cheesy punnage

Porsche MePullYou

Concentration killed the cat

Misc: Wooyays

If someone posts something nice, a traditional "woo" shows you liked it. Adding a "yay" means you really liked it. Occasionally, a "hoopla" is in order too. For particularly spectacular posts, a pictorial woo/yay/hoopla is the only way to sum up your glee. These are the ones I've created to hand out as I see fit.

Street Fighter Alpha

Reductionist Ninja


Misc: Vitriol

If someone posts something truely lame, a vitriolic comment and a suitable image is in order. Ergo, the vitriol images library.

Dry humourless post
( bigger version)

Fecheese anti-cliche spray
( bigger version)

500W Brilliant Idea
( bigger version)

Halfords Instant Spray Cliche
(bigger version)

Always remember: You're unique. Just like everybody else (ns)